Have you ever watched a hoarding show on TV and wonder how
people can become so consumed with “stuff?”
Well we often get phone calls from customers concerned about someone
they know who is hoarding. They will ask
for advice and steps to help manage the task at hand. It is important, however, to acknowledge that
this complex issue can be highly sensitive, as hoarding is often triggered by
some type of anxiety. It is said to be a subtype of obsessive, compulsive
disorder. It often consumes the hoarder not only literally, but mentally and
socially. Doctors have described
potential cause for hoarding such as difficulty processing information, beliefs
about inanimate possessions, and emotional distress associated with parting
from these items. It is sometimes
difficult for family members to sympathize with their hoarding relative and to
insist they take matters into their own hands.
This can have positive or negative effects. To the non-hoarder, the clutter is seen as
garbage that needs to be thrown away but to a hoarder each item has its own
special (often exaggerated) significance; a treasure. Hoarders are often resistant to change and
procrastinate over decisions to help free them from their compulsive hoarding
tendencies. There is no cure for obsessive
compulsive hoarding, but there are ways to help transition into healthy
behaviours. Promoting positive
encouragement is what we hope to do by providing some simple steps to conquer
hoarding:
·
Respect freedom of choice - Acknowledge that the
person you know as a hoarder (as long as competent mentally) is capable of
making their own decisions, there isn’t much you can do until the individual is
ready to make the change other than kindly recommend counseling.
·
Go the extra step – If you plan on recommending
counselling, research a local psychologist of psychiatrist who specializes in
hoarding. This shows you genuinely care and are interested in helping in any
way possible.
·
Do not argue- This will not solve anything, it
will most likely make the situation worse.
·
Ask but don’t tell – Rather than attacking their
current situation, discuss long-term goals and if they intend on changing their
ways in years to come ask if their current behaviours of accumulating items
will be an effective way of achieving their goal.
·
All in time – Strive for gradual change rather
than immediate solutions. Hoarding proceeds slowly over time and it may take a
while for any change to occur so having patience is key. Arguing, threatening, and blaming are all
negative actions – changing your attitude to one that is willing to help in
whatever positive way possible could reap unexpected rewards and eventually
soften resistance. Discussions will
become easier and more productive and trust will develop that your intentions
are purely to help the situation.
·
Clinical research studies – Cost is often
associated with seeking professional help but there are clinical research
studies that provide low-cost or even free counselling to the individual you
know that is hoarding. Do some research to find if there are any current
studies looking for participants in your area.
·
Cleanup companies – Once you have reached the
point where the hoarder is comfortable parting with some of their unnecessary
items and you intend on having a company come to help clean up, again, do your
research to make sure the company has the right type of insurance for the job
such as – general liability insurance, workers compensation, and automobile
insurance.
·
Cleaning schedule – When they are ready to begin
cleaning trying to tackle as much as possible is too overwhelming for everyone
involved. Create a cleaning schedule and
work a room at a time. If you allow the
option of “throw away” or “keep” challenge how each item will be used if the
hoarder chooses to “keep”.
·
More than a mess – This a psychologically
demanding process for all involved so remember to maintain patience and accept
that change will come slowly.
·
Don’t give up – Hoarding is not a hopeless road.
There are professionals that specialize in hoarding and can help. The worst thing you can do is to abandon the
situation. Loneliness is a catalyst for
hoarding. You know help is needed and as
exhausting as it may be for you, someone you know and care about needs your
help whether they admit it or not, you know change is necessary.
·
Follow through and maintenance – This is a
process that is ongoing even after the clutter has been removed. It is very easy to slip into old habits so
ensure you are promoting healthy behaviours and nip any signs of relapse in the
bud. Remember to stay positive and
maintain good relationships with the ex-hoarder. If they agree to further
counselling to maintain newly developed behaviours be supportive and even
attend the course alongside if that is an option. You’ll probably learn some new things too!